Here I am. I’m starting a 6-week RWC blogging journey with several colleagues across the state. It feels like a big moment for me, because I’ve been hoping to write more, reflect more, and be more mindful. Here I go.
You are enough.
That’s what I wish I knew about 15 years ago. It was a time in my life, professionally and personally, that I was searching for what I wanted. Who I wanted to be. I’d landed a consulting job after graduating, but I wasn’t happy professionally. I knew it wasn’t a good fit for me. I was single and living in San Francisco – a beautiful, fascinating, engaging city, but I knew inside that wasn’t the right fit for me either. I began blaming myself. And I started the “not ___ enough” dialogue with myself. I was good at a lot of things, but in my mind, I wasn’t “pretty enough” or “smart enough” or “social enough” or “athletic enough.” I was struggling to find myself. And to love myself. In 2004 I decided to leave SF to go teach English in Ecuador.
Fast forward and today I feel so differently. I am comfortable in my skin, confident in my decisions, and I give myself grace when I need it. I mean, most of the time anyway. But it’s that journey – that struggle to find myself – that has brought me here to where I am today. You know what? I wouldn’t change that. I take it back. I’m not telling 20-something-self-anything. #sorrynotsorry. As difficult as it was, I’m glad I didn’t know that back then. If I had, then I probably would have journeyed on an entirely different trajectory.
That’s how happy I am to be who I am, where I am today.